Dæmon Gender
According to Philip Pullman, a dæmon is almost always of the opposite sex to yourself. I will use the term "gender", since our dæmons have no physical reality, they have no actual sex. For the most part, Pullman seems to have been correct. Most dæmians find that their dæmon is the opposite gender to themselves. However, there is a strong minority of dæmians who have a dæmon that is the same gender.
Moreover, this does not seem to be strongly related to sexuality. On The Daemon Page, Okibi explores daemon gender and human sexual orientation in more detail. While homosexual dæmians are more likely to have a dæmon of the same gender, there are homosexuals with opposite gendered dæmons and heterosexuals with same-gender dæmons.
So perhaps it should be looked at from the point of view of Jung's animus and anima. He believed that we suppress certain traits because they are not our expressed gender. In other words, men suppress their sensitive female side while women suppress their brash masculine side. However, that was back in the early 1900s when gender roles were very well defined. In this era, it is possible that a girl might have suppressed her feminine side, and become a tomboy, while a boy might have grown up feeling awkward around masculine toys and guns, and felt more at home with a book. It is also possible that a person might, naturally, not HAVE much of a masculine side to suppress. All of these are considerations.
So, while your dæmon probably will be the opposite gender to yourself, don't be surprised if that is not the case. As long as you feel comfortable with your dæmon's gender, and feel that it represents your hidden side, gender doesn't matter much.
Dæmon Form
Dæmons take the form of animals, as discussed in Finding Your Own Dæmon. The form your dæmon takes symbolizes something about your personality. The animal may represent personality based on the characteristics of the species, or based on the mythology/symbolism surrounding the animal, or both. For a look at various form analyses, visit The Daemon Page.
When we are children, our dæmon is unsettled, and can change according to whim. As we age and our personality settles, we find that one form represents us best. Pullman puts the age of settling around the onset of puberty, but real life dæmians have found it tends to be much later, occurring any time between the ages of 13 and 20, or even later. Do not be in a big hurry to settle your dæmon into one form. Why restrict your personality unnecessarily? Many dæmians announce themselves to be settled in one form, because their dæmon has been a fox for a month now, or just yesterday became a cat and it feels right. Often, weeks or months down the road, the dæmon changes again. It is a slow process.
Major life upheavals, which have a strong effect on the personality of the individual may result in a form change as well. So if your dæmon changes shape occasionally, just go with it. The more shapes you try, the more likely you are to find the one that suits you as a person, and thus learn more about yourself.
Dæmon Names
Your dæmon does not automatically come with a name. Like you, he or she was born into the world nameless. However, naming your dæmon can help you to separate your dæmon's voice from your own, and help you bond with him or her. Your dæmon should have a say in the naming - some dæmians have simply asked their dæmon to name themselves. Others have had to play around with sounds and syllables until they find something that fits. It is usually an unusual name, rather than Fred or Maggie.You want something which is unique and personal to you.
If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, The Daemon Page has a list of possible dæmon names.
